welcome to the insanity of bitchweeed

Best. TNA. Vid. Ever.

2009-11-30T00:04:54Z

and because I am crazy...I made 4 caps. Full of the lolz

Enjoy!!!

What WWE star am i most like?

2009-10-20T03:12:54Z

I am most like Christian.

CHRIS JERICHO
[x] You are really into music.
[X] You try to know a little bit about everything.
[ ] You have a child/children.
[ ] You married your true love and are still with them.
[ ] The stage & spotlight calls to you.
[ ] You can make even the most casual outfit look formal.
[X ] You're not concerned with your weight.
[X ] Your parents were/are divorced.
[ ] You're an only child.
[ ] You have citizenship in more than one country.
Total: 4

CHRISTIAN
[ ] You do your best to smile, even when in a bad mood.
[x ] Laughter is your best medicine.
[x ] You really enjoy video games.
[ ] You always try your best to win, and pitch (Chrissy)fits when you don't.
[x ] You're a chatterbox.
[ x] Children are great, but just aren't for you.
[X] You have lots of friends, but one or two in particular who are your BFFs.
[ ] You work better with a partner than on your own.
[ ] Your parents never divorced/separated.
[x ] You don't like sharing the details of your personal life.
Total: 6

EDGE
[ ] You are defined by your sexuality, which just happens to be undefinable.
[ ] You can't remember the last time you had short hair.
[X] You have lots of friends, but one or two in particular who are your BFFs.
[X] You have a bold, intimidating outside to hide the soft, sensitive inside.
[X ] You always win, by any means necessary.
[X ] You're very talented in the arts, but not boastful about it.
[X] You have low self-esteem.
[ ] One of your parents was never in the picture.
[ ] You're an only child.
[X] You have/want a lot of tattoos.
Total: 5

MATT HARDY
[ ] One of your parents died when you were young.
[ ] You have many, many, many friends.
[ ] You work better with a partner than on your own.
[ ] You're the eldest child.
[ ] You don't have any tatoos or piercings.
[x ] You're still searching for Mrs./Mr. Right.
[x ] You like to pretend that your life is perfect.
[x] You would do anything to protect your family, no matter what.
[ ] The opposite sex seems to worship the ground you walk on.
[ ] You're prone to injuries & health issues despite trying to stay at your best.
Total: 3

JEFF HARDY
[x] You have/want a lot of tattoos.
[X] You have something pierced/You have multiple piercings.
[ ] You're the youngest child.
[] You're a bit of a troublemaker.
[x] You are extremely unique; nothing about you is conventional.
[ ] One of your parents died when you were young.
[x ] You still aren't sure what you want to do with your life.
[x ] You don't handle responsibility very well.
[ ] You found Mrs./Mr. Right when you were much younger.
[ ] The opposite sex seems to worship the ground you walk on.
Total: 5

I Tunes meme game

2009-10-16T01:11:48Z

Put the I pod on shuffle.... Write the first lines of the song. See if people can guess the song. that is the game...Without cheating..see how many you can get!

1. Is this a real life, or is this just fantasy

2. Do you remember the day i turned to you and said i didn't like the way he was looking at you

3. Step Back Gonna Come At You Fast, Driving Out of control getting ready to crash

4. They Tried to Make me go to rehab

5. Last night, i got served a little too much of that poison baby

6.Tell Me Whatcha gonna do when there ain't no where to run

7. As long as i have a couple of trees to hang my hammock up in the summer breeze, I'm a lucky man

8. If You ever said good bye, I wouldn't wast any of my time crying

9. We were both young when i first saw you

10. You don't know that i know, you watch me every night.

11. There's a lady who's sure, all that glitters is gold.

12. Bat your eyes girl, look other worldly

13. Drop your glasses, shake your asses, face screwed up like you having hot flashes

14. Hey Girl you know you drive me crazy, throws off the rhythm in my head

15. Better Move, we've arrived looking sexy, looking fly.

Can next week be here?!

2009-10-14T00:57:33Z

I just want next week here for a few reasons:

VACATION! 9 days away, PAID away from work.

SVR!!!!! I am so excited for this, you don't even know!

Besides my blower motor going crazy on my car, i will not let that ruin my adventures.....Used i can get one hella cheap...YAY!!!!

The Fantastically Flabby Food Tour: Three different restaurants, 40 budget. The ULTIMATE test to the stomach's capacity!

I can WRITE all week!

I can stay up, EVERY NIGHT.

I can make fun happen!

YAY!!!!!!!

And mostly...I can has a HAPPEH!!!!

YAY HOO!!!!

just like to give a shout out to.......

2009-09-22T01:24:21Z

My new friends here on LJ! Love ya arie aka pricelessqueen and david aka rkofan78 !

R U Ready?

2009-09-13T03:15:33Z

We are in a long battle ahead of us. Ups and downs may occur but what i feel, what i know is we can soldier through. I said to myself I was going to support Jeffrey Nero Hardy NO MATTER WHAT and I MEANT IT! Grab your armor and weapons folks, we've got a war ahead of us!

Musings for this day.

2009-09-12T19:22:19Z

Just gonna spout of some random musings/thoughts,

1. Its said that MTV has to use a New Moon trailer to attract people to watch an awards show that no longer really has any meaning on there network. Why have a video music award show when you stopped having all day video rotation 12 years ago?

2. The song "Every Breath You Take" by The Police is NOT a romantic song. I think most of us are aware of this. Its a song about STALKING! I've heard Angle's got it on rotation on his Ipod. *had to rip on Angle.

3. Guys rave about Beyonce and J. Lo's ass. Have you seen Shakira's? HOLY SHIT! Just watch the She Wolf vid. That's an insane ASS! I only notice because unlike everyone else, my ass is none existent.

4. Hot Pocket release pizza slices and cheese in the crust. The pizza part itself is gross but eat the crust. That is good.

5. Blood On My Hands by The Used is great song.

6. RC Cola has released a Cherry Cola version. It is HIGHLY recommended to consume!

7.
Don't get me wrong. I love and will always support Jeff. And my board i run will always be jeff centric no matter what. But, Aj has moved to main event status. Everyone can love jeff...but AJ makes a happy for me!

8. I used to be a total and utter mark for country music but i am slipping away from it. I still thoroughly enjoy its not my passion. Here are some quick country recommendations:
Miranda Lambert: Dead Flowers
Caitlin and Will: Address In The Stars
Emerson Drive: Light of Day, Moments, Countrified Soul, or there cover of Devil Went Down To Georgia
Rissi Palmer: No Air (another great cover plus you don't have douchey Chris Brown fucking it up)

9. Girls if you love makeup and lately i have become sorta a freak for it seriously check out www.eyeslipsface.com they have standard make up fair for $1! That includes dual mascara as in one side is waterproof, one is not, lip glosses, shadows, liners. They have Mineral Make up for 5 dollars which is a steal! And some great make up kits for around 5 dollars starting! I bought several things there and my bill after shipping was 21.95! Honestly can you go some where and by stuff that cheaply?! I'll review the stuff when it comes in!

I'll leave it at 9. Can't really think of anything else right now. Until laters!

Hey Peeps!

2009-08-27T01:50:25Z

You want way cool icons for your page? go visit rory_tutorgirl ! She makes the most amazeball icons! Make sure you let her know you are using her stuff though!

Ignorance is your new best friend!

2009-08-26T04:50:51Z

ah paramore. i heart you..and this song....

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life.

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same
(hey)
We're not the same
(Hey)
Oh, we're not the same
We're the friends who stuck together,
We wrote our names in blood,
(hey)
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go,
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go,
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend,
Ignorance is your new best friend

This is the best thing that could've happened;
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person, but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself

Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
Cause you know we're not the same
(hey)
We're not the same
(hey)
Oh, we're not the same
Yeah, we used to stick together,
We wrote our names in blood,
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go,
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go,
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend,
Ignorance is your new best friend.
Ignorance is your new best friend,
Ignorance is your new best friend.

Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger,
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go,
I best be on my way out

blatant advertising.......

2009-08-24T23:13:58Z

My board, my lovely lovely board. Peeps on the f-list should join, if you aren't already there! Devoted to Jeff and Matt and all wrestling altogether! We are a fun bunch! www.extremewrecklessness.proboards.com

Some past one shots

2009-08-20T01:20:46Z

I figured i'd uncover these first three one shots. Ones that are were written as 2 hour challenges, have fun, read them, and remember people, its FICTION!

Stay-
Premise: Some one wakes up in a situation they didn't expect to be in.....
Characters: AJ Styles and OC
i don't own the names
http://bitchweeed.livejournal.com/9818.html#cutid1

Better Half-
Premise: All he wants is to be with her and off the road
Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Beth Britt (implied)
Don't own the names (but i do love them!)
http://bitchweeed.livejournal.com/11538.html#cutid1

Had Enough-
Premise- One Brother has had enough of the other
Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, (mentions of others Zombie, Beth, Lucas)
of course by NOW you know i don't own the names
Warning: Some insanity, some contemplated slash, Swearing (really tame!)
http://bitchweeed.livejournal.com/12382.html

Song Meme- A hilarious read really!

2009-08-20T00:24:09Z

Opening Credits:
Theatrics by VersaEmerge (NICE)

Waking Up:
Driving Me Wild- Common f/ Lily Allen

First Day At School:
Feel Good Drag- Anberlin

Falling In Love:
California Love- 2Pac f/ Dr. Dre (LOL)

Breaking Up:
Stairway To Heaven- Led Zepplin (very confusing long climatic break up.....SURE)

Prom:
Ain't It Funny- Jennifer Lopez (LMAO I didn't go to prom so this is freaking hilarious to me)

Dance Sequence:
Throw it on me- Timbaland f/ The hives

Life's OK:
Magic Man- Heart (a magic man will fix it all?)

Breakdown:
Wasted- Carrie Underwood

Driving:
Already Home- Ha-Ash f/ Brandy Carlile (sad!)

Flashback:
Apologize- Kris Allen

Getting Back Together:
Eyes Like Yours- Shakira ( i'm pretty sure there are a few sets of eyes that if i looked into, all would be forgiven.)

Wedding:
Alone- Heart (i guess a wedding won't be happening...sad)

Sex Scene:
Fall For You- Secondhand Serenade (so its make up sex for leaving me at the alter...Ok...I'll buy it.)

Birth of Child:
DON'T TRUST ME!- 3OH3! LMAO ( that's right dick..it ain't YOUR kid)

Final Battle:
Santana DVX- The Lonely Island ( i guess the final battle is soundtracked by a song about champagne WTF itunes!)

Death Scene:
SOS- Rihanna (you redeemed yourself in humorous ways itunes lol)

Funeral Song:
Catch My Disease- Ben Lee (its happy and poppy...no sadness at my funeral)

End Credits:
BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY- QUEEN (i can NOT make that up!)

I didn't die in the storm.....So you know.

2009-08-19T21:49:32Z

I'd like to take time to thank deans_mate for hooking me up with the sweetness that is my new layout! Much love to you! Since i survived the storm i know i will value this most excellent layout more!

CUSTOM HEADER HELP!

2009-08-17T21:51:27Z

can some one please give me the instructions of how to input a custom header. I feel my page needs distinctive flair that it does not currently have!

Any help would totally rock my socks!

and don't mind the threatening Jeff icon LOL

Ha interesting that i found this on this day!

2009-08-17T16:24:52Z

August 17th used to mean something to me, it used to be a great day to celebrate. It was a friends birthday. A friend i thought i was so very close with. But as three years separate us, I've come to realize, our friendship was nothing but bullshit. Full of feelings of being used and tarnished memories. Sure i think of things i did for this said friend and i think about what i did for her but, i never received in return and it makes me angry still. Its funny i ran into this song today. A song i'm going to have to download after i post this. It is by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, a band that everyone should listen to because they are freaking great! The song is called Pen And Paper.

This whole routine is getting old
So am I, and so are you
My reputation lets me know
I can do whatever I want to
Though it seems that you believe
You can do whatever it is you please
Know before, know before you wind up on your knees
Don't cry to me no more

You like the way that people stare at you
Now you look so fake,
just thought that you should know
And you're all the same,
and when the curtain drops down
You'll be replaced by something typical

You set yourself up to the sold
and that's ok cause that's your role
Manipulation takes its toll
What will you do when nobody wants you
Though it seems that you believe
You can do whatever it is you please
Know before, know before you wind up on your knees
Don't cry to me no more

You like the way that people stare at you
Now you look so fake,
just thought that you should know
And you're all the same,
and when the curtain drops down
You'll be replaced by something typical

I know, I've stood so long beside you
And I know, I should've left you right where I had found you
I know, I've stood so long beside you
And I know, I should've left you right where I had found you

You like the way that people stare at you
Now you look so fake,
just thought that you should know
And you're all the same,
and when the curtain drops down
You'll be replaced by something typical

You like the way that people stare at you
Now you look so fake,
just thought that you should know
And you're all the same,
and when the curtain drops down
You'll be replaced by something typical

Couldn't say it better myself. :P

Maybe I'm good at graphics, or maybe i'm delusional.

2009-08-17T15:43:18Z

Maybe this is just a self assurance blog, maybe its a blog to get my work out there. Maybe I'm just posting to see if anyone gives a crap!

I'd like to say my graphic skills have drastically improved since i started years ago. Especially since i finally just downloaded some majorly awesome brushes and fonts. (way fucking nerdy there) But i want Honest opinions from all my peeps on my F-List. Your opinion is what matters most to me.

I shall share and you decide:

this is for fellow LJ'er shardinian

Again all honest input is all I'm seeking. Please be honest and let me know!

Voice Post

2009-08-12T02:19:24Z

Trollin on youtube.

2009-07-10T01:56:41Z

I like watching WWE tribute videos on youtube. I like the artistic merit. I also like reading comments. When some of them are slightly stupid..i let them slide. But..the one comment i came upon was so incredibly stupid, i wanted to shoot myself in the head.

This is the video:

Start from the bottom and read up.. JUST LIKE ON YOUTUBE!!!! :P

bojesha

You won the argument. I mean...What can I say after THAT. I mean, your rebuttal made absolutely NO sense to what i said but, your 16 years old and I guess I'll let you have this victory because the only other one you will ever have is when you beat Mike Tyson on the nintendo version of Punch Out when you are 40 and still living in your mothers basement.

Have a congratulatory red bull on this victory because you have 25 years until your next one.

geo6198

no shit u geek

bojesha

If you're implying that I am ignorant, you have a lot to learn. I can't be ignorant because remember to you, I was a geek and growing up a geek to me was all knowing. So... Where does that leave you?

geo6198

look whos talking!

bojesha

Its not geeking. Its knowing fact. I know knowledge is something that is fleeting to you but if your gonna talk some shit...Make sure your facts are straight.

Nothing worse than an ignorant shit talker.

geo6198

OK STOP GEEKING ON WWE.

bojesha

shows what you know you tard, her and jeff were never together in wwe. it says so in the Hardy book released. WWe tried to push the idea but Jeff said it would be like making out with his sister.

Amy is now with Shane, another member of the Luchagors.

people..look your sh*t up.

geo6198

wow lita u hoe u went out with matt and jefff and kane and edge.

My Better Half- One Shot Challenge

2009-06-15T00:58:40Z

No rating really. Can't think of one. Another one shot challenge. Not sure how i feel about this one.

It was never easy to pack up the bags and just leave. Leave her while she still slept. I hated every time I did. It ached so excruciatingly. Seeing her soft face nestled quietly in the pillow on top of her hands laid on top of one another almost in a silent prayer.

I hated leaving that sight.

I heard her soft exhale as I leave the room. I choke back my selfish need to want to stay there with her. I HAVE to go. Its my job to leave. I've gotta get to the airport in an hour. Meet my traveling buddies. Do what we do. Give what we give.

Its wearing on me.

My shoulders sore, finger broken. Legs feel like they could give out at any time. I wanted this. This was my dream. Ever since I was a little kid. The thing I wanted was now becoming a terrible regret. My body just doesn't want this any more. Either does my heart...Not now. I need some time away. I just want that. But...Not yet. Not this soon.

Everyone is angry. I'm failing them. I want my time away and everyone around me doesn't understand. I've given myself to you for so long. Feel the pain I feel every second and just try not to understand why I need this.

He can keep doing it. He has the passion. He loves it more than I do. Yet you love me more than him. It will never make sense. Nothing ever does really. He's the brains of the operation. I'm just the younger brother that followed in his footsteps. Who wanted to be just like him. He's my idol. He never quits. Wrestling even now with a broken hand. He's one tough son of a bitch.

I stop in the entry way and look at myself in the mirror.. She sure did a nice job helping me color my hair last night. Maybe the coolest I've seen it. They will really like it. I do.

Is that all I'll be remembered for? The guy with the colored hair> The guy with the crazy face paint? The guy with the arm bands that I used to have to defend myself for? What will they remember, if they remember me at all.

Will they hate me when I leave? Will they go back to that constant accusation of rumors past? Probably. And then when I have a mishap, all the dirt sheets will be all over it. With there lies, making her cry.

That's why I can't do this any longer. She's put up with me for so long. I need to be with her, I need to wake up with her every day and see her face. Give her all she needs from me.

Leaving North Carolina once again. Heading to another place I've been but never seen. He is sitting next to me on the plane. He's rambling on about some business venture while I quietly nod and glance out the window. How many more days do I have to fly just to fly for them. I pull my hooded sweat shirt over my head to try to get some more sleep. That's all I want now. Just to sleep. Just to see her face.

Usually she does come with us. Keeping me happy. But things were going on at home so she couldn't. I missed her once I stepped out the door.

I think of her the entire time I sleep. She has her gentle smile across her lips, her brown eyes are sparkling at the sight of me. She loves me so much and I love her too.

He jostles me awake when we land. “Hey yo Jeff. Its time to wake up. We've landed.”

“Oh. Ok. What are the plans for today?”

“I don't know what your doing but I've gotta meet and greet before the show. You. You've got that title match. You got that to get ready for!”

He was so excited for me that I was getting another title match. I honestly didn't care any more. It wasn't as auspicious as it once was. You're putting the title on me? Great! Give me it so that the heel can openly make secret jabs at me on air in front of everyone. Reference everything thing to make the crowd hate him more. Making me feel terrible inside.

“Yeah. I got that to get ready for.” I half heartedly exclaim.

We walk to the baggage claim and wait for the bags to show. People notice me and swarm me. I remember at one time how cool this was. Signing autographs, taking pictures. Now its nothing to me. I shouldn't be this cold or disenfranchised but, I am. Give give give. That's all I do for them.

“I love you.”

“You're my hero.”

“I want to be you when I grow up.”

That used to excite me when I heard that. Girls saying I love you. What young single guy didn't want to hear that at one point. Think of all the tail you could get. Now I know the “I love equals” I love the image you present but you have no clue who I am. You never will. Only she loves me like you claim to. She knows th real me.

“Your my hero.” No I'm not kid. I don't do anything heroic. What I do is idiotic, stupid, reckless. I'm just an over glorified stunt man. Putting my life on the line for you. I am no hero.

“I want to be you when I grow up.” You can't be me. I am who I am. Be your own person. Express yourself how you want. Don't be me. Don't waste your time on emulating me. Sure its cool you want to wrestle but, beware, You will never be the same after it.

I sign everything and get on my way with Matt. He is still so cordial to everyone. I act that way too but am still a little bitter inside.

Those kids say they want to be me but, wouldn't they like to know I wish to be them. I would love to live in such anonymity. No one knew who you were. No one demanded anything out of you. Your free. You don't have to do everything. I honestly wished I was them.

The arena was quiet as I entered. My footsteps echo as I head down the concrete hallway. How many more times do I do this walk? How many times can I do this walk. I don't even want to now. This walk I regret. This walk I hate.

I pass my co-workers. Greet some of them and avoid others. I meet the others I'm working with tonight and they have already out everything for me. I'm not winning tonight. That's the first thing they tell me. The guy who “stole” the title from me is retaining. That's fine. They are just setting you up to be hated. In a couple months what happens here won't even matter to me anymore. The second thing they tell me is that I should do these certain moves in certain spots. Great, give me the most painful moves to do. You guys get off Scot free.

I relax for the time being before the match. I sit quietly in the hallway, texting her. I just want to be home. I tell her over and over again. I just want to be with you. I can't keep doing this.

She tells me just a little longer. You can do it. I love you. That's all I need. That's all I need to get through tonight.

That's all I ever need from her is to hear that.

I head out, I hear my music that signifies my arrival. I'm the last one out. I am the big favorite of the match. People are screaming there lungs out. The rush of it all hits me. It hits me harder than it ever has.

All my previous hate, my resentment, my distaste for this company washes away. They gave me a reason not to hate my job. At least for the day. I adjust my once silly armbands before I run down that ramp. Once the music hits the right cue, I'm out from behind that curtain. I am slapping everyone's hands, as I run down. I'm feeling pumped. I want this now. I want to entertain them. Its all I want in that moment. Even though I know I'm losing the match. I want to give them everything I have. I want them to believe I have a chance to win.

I give them that. I keep getting back up when I'm even convinced I can't. My body doesn't want to get up. My shoulder is so sore. Its irradiating pain through out my whole arm. My finger is throbbing. I've hit it wrong too many times tonight. My head feels like it could explode. I hit it too hard against a turnbuckle tonight. I've still gotta hit my spot. I've gotta do my move. The girls will scream when my shirt flies off. They will all stand when they see me climbing that ring post. The ropes are more wobbly then I remember. I slowly climb them and then take my position. With out another thought, I leap. I land. I hit my target. My shoulder is on fire now. I rolled onto it as I landed. I grab by arm, I'm supposed to sell the fact that I injured it. Why sell it when its true. It hurts so much. I'm screaming. I try to pin the guy I landed on but he kicks out. He's supposed to. I'm supposed to be frustrated and get up and try doing it again. Until I'm speared.

I lay in the ring as the other guy makes a pin and the match is over with. I roll out of the ring, refuse the refs help. I'm a loner like that. I hobble back up the ramp and back behind the curtains. We all congratulate each other. Excited by the great job we did. We entertained. We earned our money. The fans were into it all night.

When the pain washes over me, my hatred for the company comes back. The adrenaline of the live performance has washed away. I am hating everything again. Why do I keep doing this. Why am I putting everything on the line like I do.

Its not until I check that phone, its not to I see her message. I love how she humors me. Man you didn't win! So not fair! You were amazing as always. I'll call you later.

I don't feel so bad after reading that. Matt comes up to me and pats me on the back.

“You up for going out?”

I shake my head. “Just gonna head back to the hotel.”

“Ok. I'll see you later then.”

I nod and turn my attention back to my phone. I see that she texted again. I love you. She had written. I smile the biggest dopiest smile I ever could. That never gets old.

If no one ever remembers me after I leave. That's ok. I still have her and that's all I'll ever need in my life. Her words are just enough to keep me going......

Beautiful Disaster Part 14 section three

2009-06-09T02:06:25Z

“What took you so long to answer?” She pondered.

“I was on the phone.”

“.......Not with that girl again.”

“Yes.”

“There wasn't any long distance drama was there?” She asked as she walked in and took a seat on the end of the bed.

“No, things went really good.”

“That's good I guess.”

“It is.”

“So. Are you two going to become an item or anything like that?”

“I don't know what's in store for us...Maybe something will happen....Maybe something won't. I'll find out when I go home.”

Cori was a little disappointed by the news but, she held her head high. “I just came over to see if you wanted to go after the show tonight...A few of us are going to.”

“I think I'm going to pass this time. Just sorta wanna relax.”

“Whose going to protect me from Avery?”

“Avery should know not to harass you now. If he does...I'll take care of him.”

“I'll just throw Maryse at him. She'll fuck anything.”

“She thought I wanted her once..We did like a tri-branded show and she thought I was winking at her.. I honestly had something in my eye.”

“And Avery hasn't slept with her yet?”

“They've never crossed paths believe it or not.”

“Well...tonight they will. And he will leave me alone.”

She got to her feet and began to head to the door.

“You taking off now?”

“Yeah...I want to get to the arena early....Another match against Beth. Gotta add some things to the match tonight.. We really want to make it good for RAW.”

“It will be. You two can actually wrestle. Unlike the stupid model whores they hire.”

“Example...See Maryse.”

“Well they gave her a title because she proved herself.”

“How? By lying on her back?”

“Yeah....I guess.”

Cori laughed and started out the door. “I'll see you later.”

“Yep.”

He knew Cori was upset but he had to blow her off. Zell is the one he couldn't shake.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was Wednesday morning, 5:45 in fact. Zell sat in the terminal waiting for the flight from Los Angeles to arrive. She was tired. Physically and emotionally. She had worked non stop since she talked to Darren. She worked extended shifts just to finish her work. When she got home...if her and Oren came in contact, it was nothing but a fight. They found themselves yelling and screaming at one another and when they were alone in their own rooms...They would get upset with themselves.

She began to play with her hair as she nervously waited. She almost forgot what he looked like. It had been two long weeks. She let a yawn escape her lips and she closed her eyes.

“Don't be falling asleep on me...Who's going to drive me home?”

She looked up and saw his face and was incredibly happy to see him. He was wearing a warm grin. She got up and and hugged him tightly.

“I'm so glad to see you.” She said as she held onto him. She stood there with him. Taking everything about him in. His warmth, his smell, his touch.

“I'm glad to see you too.” He said. His arms wrapped around her, rubbing her back. She felt herself begin to flush. It felt right. Just in this moment. Just the two. Zell had no internal questions about it. No fear, no doubt. It was right.

She looked up at him and smirked. “How was your flight.”

“Terrible......The plane smelled fucking disgusting.”

“Ha....Is that why you smell so bad?”

“At least its not as bad as my air freshener.”

The two shared a light laugh and Darren gently touched her cheek. She really began to chuckle.

“What?” Darren wondered.

“You're going to kiss me aren't you?”

“The thought had crossed my mind.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“So what's taking you so long?”

“You keep talking.”

“Well I......”

Darren shut her up with a soft kiss. The kiss had literally made her knees shake. A feeling she never encountered.....A sensation she wanted to feel again.

Beautiful Disaster Part4 section 2

2009-06-09T02:03:02Z

As she sat there, Oren walked in. “Locke, can you get me a shot of......”

Zell looked at him for the first time since early this morning. She was glaring at him. Angry. So very angry. He glanced at her and felt the hurt she was projecting.

“I'll see you later Locke.” She said quietly. She got up off her bar stool and went out side. Oren followed her.

“Zell!” He called out to her as she walked to her car.

“What do you want Oren?” She asked as she began to unlock her car door. She didn't make any visual contact with him. She didn't want to. She knew if she looked at him, she'd give in. So she couldn't.

He walked up to her and leaned against her car. He tried to get her to look at him but she wouldn't.

“Look at me Zell.”

Her lowered head turned away from him. “I can't.”

“Please.”

“No. I've.....I've gotta get back to work.”

“You're lunch break just started.”

“No...i took an early one.” She lied.

“If you stay, I'll explain myself.”

“There's nothing to explain Oren. You did what you did and you can't take it back.”

She got into her car and took off. He went back inside and sat down at the bar. He exhaled angrily.

“Problems?” Locke asked.

“I probably made the dumbest mistake in the history of me.”

“Whats that?”

“Zell and I.... We have something. Something that just scares the hell out of me you know? Mia never scared me like she does. She never made me feel like I do towards Zell.”

“So.......What's the mistake you made?”

“We fucked. And I told her it was just sex.....”

“OREN.”

“I know. I KNOW. I really fucked up.”

“Yeah you did.”

“What can I do?”

“She confessed how she felt towards you and you used her.”

“I didn't mean to use her... “

“That's how she feels. How do you intend to prove to her that you didn't use her?”

“I don't know....”

“You have to tell her you are just as scared as she was. Otherwise, you'll never be forgiven.”

“How can I tell her if she doesn't talk to me.”

“You're going to have to give her time until she's ready to talk.”

“What if I don't have the time? What if she never gives me that?”

“I really don't know Oren.......I don't”

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Darren was in his hotel room in San Fransisco looking out the hotel room at the constant drizzle that fell. It was usually sunny when he visited but not today. Maybe mother nature was giving him a sign that things weren't right back home. If she was, he wasn't getting the message. Not directly. He was thinking about Zell again. He contemplated calling her but, he was sure that she was done with work so he didn't want to bother her. He forgot what her hours were. It was 2:30 where he was, it had to be 4:30 there. He opened up his cell phone and decided to call her anyway.

Zell was in her room as her phone began to ring. She looked at the display and saw that it was Darren. She was happy to see he was calling. She hurried and answered.

“Hey! How are you?” She answered happily.

He was thrilled to hear her respond to him happily. It made a grin come across his lips.

“Hi. I'm doing good. A little sore from a few nights ago. How are you?”

She had to lie. Even though she was so angry at Oren, she couldn't lead on that anything happened between the two. She replied. “I'm doing good. Work was such a pain in the ass. But I'm done for the week so its all good.”

“Any plans?”

“No. Not really. Haven't really thought about doing anything.”

“Maybe you should work the next few days so that you could have a few extra off.”

“Why?”

“Well I'll be coming back Wednesday and I'll only be home for a few days. Gotta pay per view coming up.”

“I'll call my boss and ask him if I can work and if I can..I will. Last time you were home we were sorta cheated of time together. Plus douche bag Avery...”

“.........He won't be coming with me. I promise you that.”

“Thank you.” She said relieved and sighed.

“When I get home. You will be the focal point. I swear. I want to have something with you.”

Zell felt her cheeks blush immensely. That's all she ever wanted to hear. That he wanted something. That he liked her. She had to hear that and now that she had, she was content. She felt better now. Oren was most likely a fling. That's all he was, a fling. An angry fling. You focused your anger at Darren towards him and now Darren is paying attention to you and thats all you wanted.

“I want you home now.” She joked but was serious too. If he was here. She wouldn't have to worry about Oren.

“I can't work miracles. Just matches.”

“What?”

“It was a wrestling joke......I forget.....Not into wrestling......”

“I'll get it some time. If not...I'll ask Oren.”

“How is he doing anyway?”

“Eh...Beats me. We don't really talk all that much.”

Her mind flashed to herself in bed being pinned down against it by Oren... Feeling his body against her. She shook her head.

“He hasn't been using....Has he?” Darren questioned.

“Not that I noticed.”

“He could be hiding it.....”

“I don't know....Lets not worry about it.....”

“Alright. So....If you can manage to get work off....Could you possibly pick me up at the airport?”

“Yeah...For sure. I would totally love to do that.”

“Great. Saves me a lot on rental fares.”

“I'm glad I'm saving you money!”

“I appreciate you doing it for me.”

“Least I could do....”

They were both quiet and then Darren spoke. “I can't wait to see you.....”

“Nor me you.”

He had a knock on his door. He got up to answer and peaked out the little peep hole. He saw Cori but, ignored her. He wanted this time with Zell. He didn't want any problems. He felt if Cori was mentioned...Zell would loss her mind. He didn't want to risk that. So he went to the farthest side of the room and continued his conversation with her.

“I'll be coming in about....5:30 in the morning when I do.”

“Well I'm usually up by 2:30. I can swing that no problem.”

“Why do you get up so early?”

“Why not?”

“You should have at least 8 hours of sleep.”

“You know the old saying....”

“.....I'll sleep when I'm dead?”

“I'll sleep on the weekends...and how!”

“I guess you will!”

“Well..NOT this weekend! I'm going to be working a lot of hours because of you.”

“Think of the pay check!”

“Very true.”

Cori knocked again. He looked up at the door...Hoping she'd go away.

“Darren? Are you in there? We have to get going to the arena.” She yelled through the door.

He groaned. “I've gotta get going. Let me know what happens with work and all that ok?”

“Will do.”

“Bye Zell.”

“Bye Darren.”

Zell hung up her phone and was didn't know what to feel. Establishing something with Darren is something she desired. She knew he would be good to her...He had already proven it by letting her stay at his house. He wouldn't use her for sex. He wouldn't fill her with false emotions. Not like Oren. Oren, who built her up just to use her. It was just sex rang through her head again. She left her room and went down to the kitchen to get dinner going. Oren came downstairs and looked at her. She had a smile on her face which made him feel good. Maybe she was ready to talk.

“Zell...Hey.”

“What do you want?”She asked coldly.

“You need to understand.......I'm just as scared of you as you are of me. I've never felt the way you make me do......”

“Mia tell you to say that too?”

“No. Locke did....But...he's right. You weren't just sex to me...... You're more than that.....You scare me but in a good way.....”

“Maybe if we scare each other so much...Its not meant to be.”

“No....It totally is....Its what I want!”

“What if I don't want that anymore? Can you accept that?”

“No. Because I know thats not what you want.”

“Want want want.....Thats what I thought. That I wanted you. That you and me should be something. But...I was wrong. All you needed from me is to pound my vag and thats it. You got it. So why keep pestering me?”

“Because I need you.”

She shook her head trying to focus on her task at hand. She took out a knife and went to the fridge. She took out some apples she had to chop up for her chicken salad. She began to cut them up on the counter. Trying to ignore the eyes on her.

“I hate it when people lie to me...You should know that. You know how my beloved mother treated me. You know...Lie to me...Tell me everything will be ok. She didn't mean to do it.... As you say, you didn't mean to either. As I recall, you're mom was a good liar too...Like mother like son?”

Oren's blood was boiling. Zell had her defense mechanism going and of course she targeted him. That's when he replied with something so vile....It would leave both of them shocked.

“I can see why you're mother treated you the way she did. A little bitch like you deserved to be treated like shit.”

She was shaking with anger. She took the knife and stabbed it into the counter.

“You fucking son of a bitch! I can't believe you just fucking said that to me.”

“Well what else am I suppose to say! You fucking went after me..I have every right to go after you!”

They both stood there staring at one another....They were so angry, so hurt. Both filled with frustrated adrenaline rage.

“I can't fucking stand you.” She uttered. “You and your worthless existence. If it weren't for Darren, you'd be living in a gutter somewhere.”

“Well that just brings us full circle then doesn't it? Back to the gutter. You slept with me....and if I am suppose to be in a gutter...That makes you the gutter whore I originally called you...God damn my first impression of you was right!”

“FUCK YOU.”

“YOU DID AND IT WAS JUST SEX TO ME!”

She retreated to her room like she had earlier to avoid him. She just wanted it to be Wednesday. She needed Darren back. That's all she wanted.

All he wanted was to be home too. Away from the road, if only for a few days. Cori had knocked again and he finally decided to let her in

Beautiful Disaster Part 14 Section one

2009-06-09T01:59:15Z

Darren had been stateside for a few days now. He was in Sacramento, getting ready for another house show. He hadn't seen or heard from Cori since the night she had convinced him to go to the bar with everyone. All they had done was talk and have a good time. Avery had tried to convince Cori to go upstairs with him but she didn't fall for it. “Do you think I'm stupid?” She asked him. Darren couldn't help to laugh at it.

Zell had crossed his mind once or twice but, he didn't think to call her. He was too busy sight seeing with Avery. And thinking about Cori.

As he sat in the locker room, a writer from the WWE magazine approached him.

“Hey Darren. You got time for the 60 second question segment don't you?” The guy asked.

Darren nodded and awaited the questions. The wonderful stereotypical ones he knows he has answered before. What kind of clique were you in, in high school? What's your pet peeves? Where's your favorite vacation spot. Everything he answered quickly. Loner. Talking on the cell phone when driving. Home. That's what he always answered. The answers were never going to change. Ask different questions. He mentally muttered.

“Oh. Cori is waiting for you near the concession stand.” The guy informed. “She was looking for you.”

“Ok. Thanks.”

He had an hour until the show was even starting. He could spend some time with her. If he could find her. He wanted to find her so he briskly walked through the hallway. He passed up Avery on his pursuit.

“Where are you going?” Avery asked.

“I gotta find some one.”

He was making his way down the main walk way when some one grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the hallway.

“WHAT THE!”

A small hand cover his mouth. Darren looked down at Cori who had a big grin on her face.

“Did I scare you?”

He nodded at her. “Yep” He said muffled through her hands.

She uncovered his mouth and playfully wiped it on his shirt.

“How are you doing?” She asked as she placed her hands into her pockets.

“Uh...Good good. How bout you?”

“Nothing beats going to a nice tropical location to get pictures taken of yourself.”

“So that's where you went? To a resort?”

“Yeah...Natural tan.” She said as she held out her arms. “No can tan here!”

“Looks good.”

“Well thank you Darren. I wasn't sure about coming here and being a “diva” but I guess its really not so bad. I get to dress up all sexy, have some fun. Plus the checks will be so sweet.”

“Sweet?” He joked

“I said sweet. What's wrong with that?”

“Is it 1995?”

“Saying sweet isn't as lame as that joke you just said. If I were you.....I would put a paper bag over my head. Cuz I couldn't show my face after saying that.”

“Why do you gotta be so mean? You're going to hurt my feelings.”

“No..I couldn't do that to you.”

“I'm still living down that STF!”

“Really?”

“Yeah...The guys have really been giving me hell about it.”

She patted his arm. “I'm sorry. Well if it helps, if you wear that bag over your head...They won't know its you.”

Darren jokingly began to walk away.....Cori became a little concerned that she had really hurt his feelings.

“Darren I......”

He turned around to her and flashed a smile. He continued to walk away and she followed him. Upon catching up with him, she slapped him in the arm.

“You're such a jerk Darren.”

“No I'm not.”

“Well not the level of Avery jerk no.”

“I could never be as bad as that.....”

“Did you just rip on your friend?”

“A little I guess.”

“Shame on you.”

They quietly walked to the stage area. They stood behind the curtain and watched some of the big dogs plan out their match. Cori began to laugh at some of the moves the two were doing.

“What's so funny?” Darren inquired.

“Still thinking about the bag on your head.”

“Geez.....”

“No...I'm not thinking that. I'm wondering how a guy like that currently in the ring has been a main eventer for the last four years if he still can't wrestle.... And that whole...I'm a thug but I support the military gimmick....Lame.”

“Shh.....You don't want to be caught cutting down the alpha male.”

She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and spoke as she did. “There are like....ten guys in back that can wrestle better than him. I mean... Darren...If you ever had the chance to work with him...You would more than certainly show him up. You can wrestle better than most of them. The only thing working against you is getting put into a STF by me.”

“You're never going to let that go are you?”

“No sir.”

“Why not?”

“Come on. You have to totally admit...It was pretty awesome on my part. I set you up and you fell for it. And you only keep getting offended by it because you either a: were impressed or b: turned by on it....And I think it was the latter.”

“You think it was the latter?”

“Oh yeah. You missed me those last few days I was gone too. Otherwise....why rush to find me? I'll always be lurking around here.”

“Well. I uh.....I can explain.....”

She chuckled and did something which he didn't expect. She quickly stepped in and kissed him. She patted his shoulder and smiled. “I missed you too.”

She looked down at her watch and back up at him. “I've gotta get going. I gotta get to hair and make up. Gotta look totally bad ass for tonights match against Beth.” She explained.

“Um.....Alright. I'll see you later.”

“Ok.” She walked happily away down the hallway leaving Darren dazed and confused. He genuinely liked Cori. It was a matter of fact. But there was still that girl at home that he couldn't shake.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Oren woke up in the middle of the night to find Zell quietly sleeping on his chest. Her hand clung onto him. He grinned at her and ever so gently brushed her hair back. He admired her silently. Staring at her naked body in the dim moonlight that filtered through the blinds.

He wanted to focus on her, keep his mind on the beauty that held onto him as she slept but his mind went to something else. The clear baggy that was still downstairs. He still couldn't believe that one thing had crippled him to the point of wanting to use again. He never felt so weak and pathetic about it. He had to rid himself of the bag. Get rid of the problem.

He slowly moved out from under her. Carefully laying her down on the bed. He crept out of the room in the darkness of night, heading downstairs to where he left the baggy. He went into the kitchen and looked at the counter where he was sure it had been earlier. He became frantic.

“Where the hell did you go?!” He screamed. He slammed his fists onto the counter.

“I got rid of them.”

He looked up at the stairs to see Zell wrapped up in a sheet.

“You what?”

“I flushed them.” She said as she walked over to him. “I didn't want you to be tempted by them.” She stared at him as he had a semi blank look on his face. She didn't know if she had just done the best thing ever or something he'd never forgive.

He hugged her, thankful that she was looking out for him. “Thank you.”

She replied jokingly. “No thank you for wandering around the house naked. You're ass is sweet.” She slid her hands down to his bare backside. “Ooo. And not a single pimple.”

“You're really grabbing my ass right now?”

“Why not?”

“You don't own it just because we had sex.”

“I don't?”

“No. Its not like we are anything. We both just needed someone and we had sex and thats it.”

He had said it so nonchalantly that it really began to upset Zell. She released him from her arms and turned her head away. It was just sex to him? Is that what he's thinking? Is that all he ever wanted from me this entire time? She gathered herself and went upstairs to her room. She struggled to stifle her tears as she gathered his clothes and set them outside her door. She was so hurt. All she thought about was how much he said he wanted her. Over and Over again. And it was all a lie. At least she felt it was.

Oren stood in the kitchen angry at himself. He couldn't believe he said what he had to her. He had wanted her. He needed her. But his hypocrisy had gotten to him. He had nagged her about being afraid to be with him when he was afraid himself.

He went up the steps and saw his things laying outside her door. He knew what he had done and he was sure there was never any way he could fix it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Zell went to Locke's bar for lunch. It had been the first time since last Friday that she had seen him or stepped into the bar. He stood behind the bar, washing some glasses. He looked up at Zell and smiled.

“Hey, long time no see.” He greeted. He walked up to her and gave her a hug. “How are you?”

“Ask Oren....It was just sex.”

“Huh?”

“Remember when you said the other night that I shouldn't give up on Darren, you were right. Darren wouldn't have dogged me like Oren did. He wouldn't have let me confess my heart to him, use me and then say it was just sex. Darren would have a heart and tell me he didn't feel that way. But I know now he does and now...And that makes me so incredibly happy. But, what do I do about what I did. How does one tell the guy that likes you that you slept with his brother?”

“I don't know.”

She sat down at the bar and hid her face in her arms. “Why do I always make mistakes? Why do I always get used?”

“Zell I wish I could answer you but I can't. I know when someone makes a mistake, they usually learn from them.”

“Thanks for your generic advice, Locke. You just fixed everything.”

He groaned. “I'm sorry. I don't know all sides of what happened so I can't be helpful. I'm not going to act like I know whats going on.”

“Like you usually do anyway.”

“Zell.”

“I'm sorry Locke. I just. I thought I wouldn't fall for that again and here I did....I must have gullible written on my forehead or something.”

F LIST

2009-06-03T20:32:59Z

Since its the hottest trend going...if you love me, you'll fill this out!

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A.
2) What was your dream growing up?
A.
3) What talent do you wish you had?
A.
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A.
5) Favorite vegetable?
A.
6) What was the last book you read?
A.
7) What zodiac sign are you?
A.
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A.
9) Worst Habit?
A.
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A.
11) What is your favorite sport?
A.
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.
16) Do you have any pets?
A.
17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A.
18) What was your first impression of me?
A.
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A.
22) What color eyes do you have?
A.
23) Ever been arrested?
A.
24) Bottle or can soda?
A.
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A.
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A.
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.
30) Do you swear a lot?
A.
31) Biggest pet peeve?
A.
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.
35) Do you believe in God?
A.
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

STAY (bojee's first one shot)

2009-05-28T03:56:57Z

Two hour time limits and Livejournal character limits and some friendly motivation are to blame for this dealy....

Rating...Eh... We'll give it a strong PG-13

The room was dark.

Too dark.

His eyes tried to focus in the pitch black that surrounded him but they wouldn't. His eyes searched for that one fragment of light that always seemed to seep through like in the movies but it never came. When his search for light failed thats when he noticed the soft earthen smell in the air. The gritty dirt against his left cheek. The tickling of bugs crawling all over him. He tried to roll to get them off him but he couldn't move.

Where was he?

He tried to sit up which was in impossible task. His wrists were bound behind his back, not once but twice by rope and cuffs. His legs were also bound in the same unfair fashion. Was this some sort of joke? Who in there right mind would........

His thoughts stopped with that. Some one in there right mind would never do this,

“Hello?” He asked the dark cold room. “Is anyone there?” His southern voice drowned out in the earth basement. “HELLO!” He screamed out again. “Some one....Please help me! I don't know where I am!”

Clunk.

When he came to, he tasted blood and dirt in his mouth which immediately caused him to gag. He spat out angrily, becoming uncontrollably frustrated. “WHERE THE HELL AM I?” He yelled loudly. He started flailing around in shear panic. This game wasn't amusing to him any more. “Get me OUT OF HERE!”

He stopped his movement when he finally saw the candle in the room. It was in the corner, sitting on an old folding chair, not illuminating much but just enough so that he could see what hell hole he had been placed in. All he saw around him was cinder block walls and one lone staircase.

He began to inch himself across the floor dragging his sore body and aching head along the dirt covered floor. He just wanted to be near the light. He need that light. It was the only sense of hope he had.

He was so close, so painfully close....

THUD.

When he awoke this time, the room was filled with light, light so bright it hurt his ice blue eyes. The fluorescent bulbs that burned his retinas.

He noticed he wasn't on the ground anymore. He was sitting on the chair that once held the the candle. His head was pounding harder than it ever had before. Not like any other time he had hit his head. He had hit his head many times before due to his profession but it never ached to this degree. His eye sight was blurry to the point things weren't what they appeared.

His shoulders were numb, as were his arms, They were heavy behind him., as if weighing them down to the chair. He exhaled deeply as he tried to slow his frightened pulsing heart.

“Its ok man, They are just toying with you....That's all. “He reasoned. “Sure they bashed your noggin pretty damn good but...its ok. Its really ok......”

The room went dark.

He began to scream. “Please don't let me die....I can't die, not now.... My wife and my kids need me and... I can't go this way...I can't...Please god...please if...................”

He was knocked to the ground. His head hitting the dirt hard. Consumed with the fear for his life he began to sob. He knew what this was WASN'T a game anymore. This wasn't a joke. This was his life he was fighting for, and against who he didn't know.

He laid on the floor for hours, not moving, not talking, not knowing what to expect next. The room had several scents in the air since he first awoke to the blackness. The earthen smell he first detected along with the copper smell of blood and the nauseating smell of his own urine. Fear hadn't caused him to piss himself....The shear need of having to go caused it.

All he kept thinking about was his wife, his two sons. His silent ray of hope. In his miserable state he managed a smile across his face thinking about them. Thats all he could focus on. Thats all he needed to keep his mind on. He needed to make sure he lived through what ever the hell this was to get back to them.

The light came back on, blinding him. His eyes were yelling in protest to the sudden brightness that once again terrorized his sensitive eyes.

“Who's there?” He asked with a tremble to his voice. “Why do you have me here?” He tried rolling around but the sleeping appendages of his wouldn't allow the usually normal task.

The captor walked closely to him, but just enough to stay out of peripheral eyesight. The person stood there looking at him like he was a trophy fish they had caught out on some grand fishing excursion. The captor prodded him with their foot and let out an amused chuckle. They did it again just to entertain themselves.

He bared with it. Any outburst might lead to the final blow to his head. A thought he didn't want to think about. He thought about why he was down here, Did the person need money? Were they just a psycho? Did he do something wrong that subconsciously sent them off? What?

The captor finally spoke for the first time and once they did, it was came apparent to him why he was down here.

“You're probably wondering, what did I do to get down here aren't you?” The captor asked. “Well A.J. It should already be clear as day.”

His eyes widened. He knew the captor, he knew HER. He knew her very very well. Yet, the reason escaped him. But he would be reminded.

“You don't remember do you?” She asked cooly. “You don't remember what you did. What you did to me? How you made me feel. Well lets make it clear right here right now. You promised me A.J. You promised me you'd leave her. I was the one you wanted to be with. I was the one you needed, that understood you. And yet...here we are.....FIVE years later and you, you are still with her!”

“You don't understand.....”

“Oh but I do. I do. She's safe, shes normal, she obeys you, she's the mother of your children. I get it.”

She knelt down next to him, stroking his bloodstained cheek. “I could have been that to you.” She said softly and kissed his temple. “But you....” She laughed sardonically. “You never let me be that. You wouldn't let me be that. After you promised....YOU PROMISED ME that. You held me in your arms and told me... Livi.....I want you to be my everything. Forget her....Its you and me.... We'll move away and we'll have our children and we'll be happy.”

“She was already pregnant......”

“So you coward out on me. You couldn't even tell me you were staying with her. You never returned a single call to tell me you chose her over me. You know what that did to me?

“I'm sorry Livi....I......”

She rose to her feet and kicked him hard in the kidneys. A.J screamed out in pain while she continued. “You're not sorry pretty boy. Not one tiny bit.”

The leggy blond captor took out a pistol from her back pocket and took out the clip to see how many bullets she had. Content with the amount, she walked around him and proceeded to lay herself on the ground in front of him. Pressing her body up against his. She held the gun out in plain sight, letting it relax on her hip.

“This ends one of two ways.” She said with a grin. “Its all up to you.”

“I'm not leaving her.....”

She laughed at it. “Jumping the..... Oh....no..i can't finish that pun..... You can't jump the gun when its pointed.....” She raised the gun to the bridge of his nose. “Right between you eyes A.J.”

Tears were welling up in his eyes. “What do you want Livi...Please...Please just tell me so I can do it.... I'll do what ever you want....Just please tell me what I have to do......”

She stroked his cheek with the barrel of the gun and then patted him.

“Either you kill me, or..... I'll kill us both.” She informed.

That was the last thing he was expecting to hear. “I can't kill you.....I'll go to jail..... I can't do that.....I can't....”

“So you rather have your wife wonder about why you were down here in the basement with the girl you were cheating on her with? Is that what you want her to wonder about. Make her feel that you weren't happy with her. That she tied you down. That you had to kill me and then yourself so that we could finally be together. Is that it?”

There was no way he could answer with out it being twisted into some form of hypocrisy. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Jail seemed like the better option. He could claim self defense. Thats it. He could do that and plus he was a public figure. He'd never serve any real time. He could live with that... The wife would understand.....

“You're taking too long.” Livi said quietly. She held the gun to his forehead and with out another thought pulled the trigger. The bullet went clear through, embedding itself into the gray wall. Livi grinned at her preciseness and then kissed his lips. “I'm sorry I had to do that to you...But... You should have chose me.”

She gave one last exhale and raised the hot barrel to her temple. She closed her eyes as she felt the metal burn her flesh.

“I love you.”

BANG.

Beautiful Disaster part 8

2009-05-04T03:39:29Z

Oren waited for his brother to show up. Zell hadn't emerged from her room at all. He was really worried. He had gone up to her door a few times and asked her if she was OK but he was always met by “Leave me alone.”

He felt so helpless. He wanted to help the girl who helped him just the other day. That's all he wanted.

Darren arrived home and rushed inside. He met Oren who had another cigarette going.

“What happened? What's going on?” Darren asked.

“She came home and was just screaming. I came downstairs to see what was up and she just started to freak out. Something happened to her at work. Something that triggered memories from when she was a kid. Whatever it was. She's not talking. She won't come out of her room.”

“Its good that you called then. I'll go up and see if I can talk to her.” Darren glanced back towards Avery who was heading in. “Don't let him come upstairs. He'll just make the problem worse.”

“Will do.”

Darren went up the steps and knocked on the door. “Zell. Hey. I'm here. What happened?”

“GO THE FUCK AWAY!”

“Its not Oren. Its Darren.”

“Like it matters which either one it is. I don't care! I'm not talking about it.”

“You gotta tell me what happened.”

“No. I don't.”

Darren gave up. “Alright. I don't need to know.”

Frustrated, he headed back downstairs. He exhaled and sat down on his couch upon arrival. He gave Oren a worried look.

“I've gotta try to talk to her. Try to make her tell me what happen to her.”

“Darren. No. You can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because, you could just end up making it worse. Let her calm down. If she wants to talk about it, she will. You can't just try to force it out of her. That's like making her relive what ever happened to her all over again.”

“You're right. You're right. If she wants to tell us. She will.”

“Exactly.”

Avery entered the room. He held a bottle of beer in his hand. He glanced at the two brothers.

“So what was her problem?”He asked.

“Nothing that you would ever need to worry about.” Oren snipped. He brushed past Avery and went into the kitchen.

“We came home for nothing then huh. You get home to try to talk to her about some stupid issue she's having and you don't get a peep out of her mouth.”

Darren shook his head at his “friend” and got to his feet. “Next time we are off the road, why don't you just go home. I don't want you here harassing people I care about.”

“Darren. I was just joking.”

“You sure don't seem like you joking. You've been a prick to everyone.”

“I'm sorry dude.”

Darren rolled his eyes. “Let's go and get some grub. Maybe if we leave and come back, she'll want to talk.”

“Alright.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Darren had arrived home and she still hadn't come out of her room. Knowing he had to get up and go early in the morning. He went to bed earlier than he usually did.

Zell had stayed in her room until late into the night. By the time she had come to terms with what happened to her, and she was ready to discuss it. It was 11 in the morning. She got out of bed, left her room, and walked down to Darren's room. The door was shut. She knocked several times. “Darren?” She asked. She knocked again.

Oren poked his head out the door. He saw her knocking on the door. He knew Darren had left. He had left an hour earlier.

“He's gone.” He tiredly informed.

“What?”

“He left for the airport.”

“He took off and he didn't even say good bye? What the fuck!”

“He didn't want to wake you. Figured you needed to sleep.”

“I needed him.....And he just takes off.”

“He wanted to talk to you last night......”

“I wasn't ready to talk........”

“............I know.”

She exhaled frustrated. “Son of a bitch. I needed to talk to him.”

Oren felt rejected. You can' t talk to me about it? He turned away and headed back into his room.

“Oren, wait.” She said and walked over to him.

“What?”

She sighed and then said. “Some guy grabbed my ass yesterday at work...And I got suspended. I punched him right across the nose and most likely broke it.”

“That's why you reacted like you did yesterday? Because of that?”

“No.....”

“Then why did you freak out.”

“I reacted the way I did because, well, partly because of that. But,” She looked Oren in the eyes. She struggled to hold her tears back because she hated crying. She cried all her life growing up. She didn't want to do it anymore. When his green eyes looked right into hers, she lost it. “All my life, I've been mistreated by men. From when I was seven. I was molested by some prick my mom brought home. I was told not to say anything about it. Just to shut up. I didn't. I got punished. I got groped yesterday...Punished again. When do they get the pain? When do they get the humiliation? When do they get to have it on there minds the rest of there lives?”

Oren took her into his arms and this time she didn't fight it. She let him hold her.

“I'm sorry.” He empathized. “I'm sure if Darren had known about the guy yesterday, He would have gone and messed him up.”

“I doubt he would. He was too busy with Avery yesterday.”

“He came back right away when I told him something was up with you.”

“Eh....thats probably because he felt obligated to.”

“Zell.....”

“What? He said he wanted to spend as much time as he could with me before he left. Yet he got all distracted by that Lori.....”

“Cori....”

“I don't care! He got all distracted by her and then Avery probably pissed and moaned about being cooped up so he wanted to leave. So he did what he wanted. He just wanted me around to appease his charitable side. That's why he came back to check on me. Make sure his charity case was OK. Make sure I was in a good state of mind.”

“Zell thats not it at all.”

“Oh yeah...That's right.... Its you. You're his charity case.”

Oren became angry but he was willing to let it go. “You're just upset right now. You really didn't mean what you said.....”

“Didn't I?”

“No. You're hurt. And you want some one to feel that hurt too. That's why you said what you did. You're just projecting it towards me. Trust me. I know ALL about that.”

Zell denied it. “You don't know what you're talking about.”

“If you really meant what you said..You would have continued to insult me.”

“Do you really want me to got there?”

“I'll just hear all the things I've ever heard before so go ahead. Refresh me. Tell me all the shit I know by heart.”

She exhaled angrily through her nostrils. He was right. She hated being read by him. It irritated her. She stormed past him and went downstairs.

She went to the kitchen and took a seat at the kitchen table. On the table top there was an envelope with her name on it. She grabbed for it and quickly tore it open.

Inside was a stack of ten one hundred dollar bills, a key, and a letter. She took it out and began to read it.

Zell,

Hey, just thought I'd leave you some money for watching the house and groceries and what have you. Made you a key for the front lock. I'm sorry I got really busy the last few days and we didn't get to talk. I hope to get to talk to you more when I get back. I get a nice break then and I promise no Avery. I'll probably call to check with you, see how its all going. Hope everything goes well.

Darren.

She wanted to roll her eyes at it. Be annoyed by what he said but, somehow she couldn't. Maybe that's how Darren was. He meant to do something and forgot. Who knew. She gathered the things he had left and went back upstairs to her room.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .